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Well, it’s been a bad weekend for me. Just exhausted for no reason. Because of my fatigue, I prioritize sleep. I’ve always been one to feel best with 8+ hours. This spring I made up my mind to make it a priority to get at least 9 a night. Yesterday I took a two hour nap and slept nine hours. Today, I recently got up from an hour nap. I would have slept longer, but I have so much to do around the house, I want to try to get some reading/researching done, and I want to spend time with my family. I feel in a fog right now. Was trying to do some reading on histamine intolerance and gave up. My brain just can’t process things right now. I do not wake up feeling refreshed. I just feel like I’ve lost another hour or two of my day.

I’ve had some sinus pressure again the last couple days, so I’ve had a headache all weekend. I have never in my life had sinus problems until the time a few months ago. So, I don’t know if the sinus trouble is the cause of my difficult days right now, or if that is just on top of my normal stuff. It’s been up and down since I started the B12 injections. Good days and bad. I never know what to expect.

I want nothing more than for someone to say – and for it to be true, “this is exactly what is wrong with you and this is what you need to do to fix it.” I would do whatever it is I need to. I just haven’t a clue what it is. I am still hopeful that the B12 will have a positive effect, and I am trying to be patient and give the therapy time to work. I am just confused. My B12 blood test came back at 575, which is healthy. My doctor prescribed the shots based on my symptoms. A person can have normal levels yet be deficient. I am trying to understand the possible reasons for this and will write about them at another time. So, either I am deficient despite my numbers, or there is something else going on. I would rather have been informed that my number was 175, a clear diagnosis and a solid reason for my health problems. It just can’t be that simple, it seems.

My little health crash seems to coincide with being on the GAPS diet. That could be coincidence or it could be caused by the diet. If it’s caused by the diet, is it because the diet isn’t working for me and is in fact making me ill or is it because the diet is more or less cleaning my body, kicking out the bad stuff and causing temporary sickness along the way.

(I am currently sitting outside watching my husband sword fight my children, coming up with all sorts of scenarios and props. I am so grateful and blessed to have a husband who loves to play with his kids – who has fun doing it. I watch them and I just wish I had the energy. I wish I could be that kind of mom, to play with my children, run around, be silly. The best I manage these days is sitting on the floor with them once in a while as they play Legos or Playmobil. I am vowing here and now to be a fun, active, sword fighting type mom as soon as I can get back on my feet).

Because I am nursing an infant, we never did GAPS intro. It can cause a lot of detoxing which isn’t safe for the baby. I think I need to get on it as soon as would be safe for Nolan. I need to do something. I feel stuck right now, and I don’t want to just drag this diet out forever. While full GAPS can be very healing on its own and does a lot of good, intro is a very intense and efficient way to repair the gut lining. Leaky gut allows partially digested food to pass through the stomach lining, causing food sensitivities and other problems. So, the goal is to repair the stomach lining, starve out the pathogenic bacteria and repopulate the gut with good bacteria.

Intro is restrictive. It begins with very healing, easy to digest foods. Basically broth, boiled meats and boiled veggies. Each of the six step adds in more foods. The length of time for each step is completely determined by the individuals progress. Some go through the entire introduction in a month or less, others, with really serious problems, may be on it for a couple years or more. It could be that I am reacting to something in my diet, and intro would be the easiest way to figure out what it is. Well, that and going to my mom’s doctor. I want to do that too. He will test me for food and environmental sensitivities. Mom has been feeling so much better since finding out her sensitivities and staying away from the offending foods.

On a positive note, Jonas’ accidents have been much more under control in the last week or so. He is still having trouble at night. Ben gets him up twice, sometimes even three times, and he still wakes up with a wet bed about half the time, which used to only occur once or twice a month. His days are much better at least. He’s been off of broth a couple weeks, or maybe three. I don’t remember. (Broth is high histamine, and I have been suspecting histamine intolerance with him).